… mosquitos and bad drivers

Two eyes focused on the road ahead of me, one ear listening to the ballgame, the other ear is tuned to the pleasant drone of incessant chatter from my 7-year-old grandson in the backseat (which would be annoying if it came from anyone else).

The Cardinals have just taken a 2 to 1 lead over the Brewers when a deep philosophical question was offered from behind me, “Poppy, why did God invent mosquitos?”

The pressure is on… the great “Poppy” can’t say, “I don’t know,” my mind is racing trying to come up with a logical and theologically correct answer that would make sense to a 7-year-old. But all I can think about is buzzing, biting, scratching, malaria and yellow fever. And I’m not going to touch original sin with a 10-foot flyswatter!

“Well,” I replied, “they do provide food for other creatures. Fish and frogs and birds and bats all eat mosquitos.”

“Do they eat other bugs?”

“Yes.”

“If there were no mosquitos, would they starve?”

“Probably not,” I replied, so much for that train of thought.

About then I become aware of a car coming up from behind us in the adjacent lane, quickly closing the gap between our two vehicles. It’s apparent that the driver is having trouble staying in his lane.

I quickly move our car over a few feet to avoid being sideswiped, simultaneously laying on the horn and yelling, “Why did God create idiotic, clueless drivers who think they can text and drive at the same time?”

Although he is blissfully unaware of our near miss, I have my grandson’s complete and full attention. Thankfully I didn’t use the words and hand gestures that first came to mind.

“What are you talking about, Poppy?”

“Oh nothing,” I reply, “I just want people to pay attention to their driving. Do you want to stop for an ice cream on the way home?”

“Can I have a hot fudge sundae?”

“If that’s what you want,” I said. “You sure you don’t want a double dip of mosquito ripple or a mint mosquito chip cone?”

“That’s gross, Poppy, the birds and frogs can eat them if they want, I’ll stick to vanilla with hot fudge and whipped cream.”

Maybe clueless drivers and mosquitos are circling around us to teach patience; I hear that’s a virtue, unlike road rage!

“Poppy, why did God invent poison ivy?”

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