I’ve given up on looking intelligent. I can’t tie a bowtie and I don’t smoke a pipe. Yes, it’s true I have a beard, a grey one even, but in all honesty it shouts age more than wisdom.
So what’s a guy to do?
If I can’t look smart then maybe the next best thing is sounding smart. And what screams education and intelligence more than being able to drop a few Latin phrases at key times during a conversation? The problem is that most well known Latin phrases are kind of boring. How often can you effectively employ, “time flies”, “seize the day” or “let the buyer beware”, during the course of normal conversation?
Enter modern Latin
What we need are modern Latin quotes that can be used during everyday conversation. Latin quotes that will amaze our friends, dazzle our co-workers and intimidate our adversaries.
Say you need a snappy comeback for those aggravating people in your life, maybe even your boss. Sure you could say, “Eat my shorts”, but how much more effective would that be in Latin, “Vescere bracis meis.”
That young lady at your office who is having trouble finding Mister Right, just imagine how grateful she will be to hear your words of wisdom in Latin, “Brevior saltare cum deformibus viris est vita” (Life is too short to dance with ugly men), or perhaps, “Viri sunt viri” (men are slime).
Need a good educated sounding insult? Try this one, “Mater tua tam obesa est ut cum Romae est, urbs habet octo colles!”, (Your momma is so fat, when she’s in town Rome has eight hills!)
Here’s a few more:
Detesto Lunedi (I hate Mondays).
Diabolus fecit, ut id facerem (The devil made me do it).
Sit simplex, stulte (Keep it simple, stupid).
Capiamus cerevisiam (Let’s grab a beer).
Vene, Vidi, Velcro (I came, I saw, I stuck around).
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am).
Ubi non accusitor, ibi non judex (where there is no cop, there is no speed limit).
Quondo omni flunkus mortati (When all else fails, play dead).
And if you don’t like any of these, well, “Vescere braces meis!”